A Conversation

"Where are you from?"
"I'm actually from Glasgow."
"Is that where you're from?"
"Well, I was born in Dumfries, but I've lived in Glasgow my whole life."
"Where's your accent from?"
"My adopted parents are English, but they live here and I've lived here my whole life."
"You're English."
"I was born in Scotland, I've lived in Glasgow my entire life."
"You're English."

If people want to ask me where my accent is from, that's fair, it's not a Scottish accent, really. Although people living in England have said I have a Scottish accent and even put on a twee old-lady Scottish accent in mockery of me, it's a weird accent and that's fine.

I really, really hope right-minded people will get over the England/Scotland rivalry sometime soon. Now, don't get me wrong. Politically, you may have a point, considering the very real division we've just witnessed following the election. But nationalism is just so fucking boring, for real.

Population-wise, England is about ten times the size of Scotland, which is the second largest country in the UK. That doesn't mean we should sit down and allow ourselves to be marginalised, but it does mean we might have to let the whole Mars bar fiasco go and give a fuck about something a little more important. I think that, maybe, the English flag is on the Mars bar in support of the English team in the World Cup, I don't think it's there to spite Scottish people with regards to a feud which was supposedly resolved, hmm, three hundred years ago. Maybe we should talk about the complete disregard and marginalisation of women in popular sport. Or come up with an actual reason why Scotland is better than England, why Scottish people are fundamentally, intrinsically, inherently better than English people. Why xenophobia is okay when it's against the English. I mean, hey, the Romans attacked us, didn't they? Let's hate on Italy. The problems that Britain has are spread throughout Britain. One fifth of the population living in poverty being one I'm quite concerned about.

I'm basically just very, very bored of the pathetic, useless waste of time and effort that is presuming one's own identity is better than others. The U.K. is better than other countries, Scotland is better than England and Glasgow is better than Edinburgh and the Southside is better than the West End and Strathclyde is better than Glasgow Uni and Hillpark is better than Woodfarm and Shawlands is better than Hillpark and anywhere is better than Hutchy and Rangers are better than Celtic and Catholics are better than Protestants. It's all the same, absolutecompletesheerfucking prejudice and snobbery everywhere and people, in the mad scramble for pride and identity, becoming snobs on the presumption that others elsewhere are snobs in return. Snoooooooze. It's not much of an identity if it's based on trying to prove how terrible others are. Making an angry point about your nationality is fruitless (unless maybe someone refused to believe you were what you said you were, hahahahaaa, I'm so funny).

Having never lived in England and having visited only on holidays and technically having no English blood (though the importance of biology I could dispute on account of being adopted /tangent) it would, of course, be a straight-up, outright lie to say that I am English. I'm not English.
And since the overwhelming majority of people who have spoken to me about my accent seem to be subscribing to some kind of Scottish Nationalist purity law, whereby someone born and raised in Scotland is not, in fact, Scottish, I'm going to deliver a massive fuck-you in the form of adhering to the taboo of claiming that my nationality is British. Ooooooh!

Another post asking the general public to try and be less dickheadish, brought to you by Bo. (Taking my own advice any moment now)